Unedited: Burning Edition

I feel like you guys are ultimately going to read my entire book just through these snippets posts… What can I say, there are lots of tiny bits and ┬ápieces of my story that I love!

You’re probably getting tired of it, but to be honest with you, I’m having the time of my life. I’m proud of this story and my precious characters. Introducing you to my characters and having you, my writerly pals, get to know and love them the way I do… well, that’s why writers write, isn’t it? To share what they love with other people?

But I’m rambling nonsensically.

Let’s get to it, shall we?

The first meteor caught the pack by off-guard, it was traveling so fast. There was searing heat and an explosion. Endelyn pivoted, eyes wide, as she tried to take in what had just happened. Wimbo Nzuri knelt on the sand, holding the charred remains of her father in her lap and sobbing brokenly.

 

“Move out!” Hatari yelled. “We can’t stay here!”
One of the women tending Mako spoke up. “He really shouldn’t be moved, Hatari. He’s lost too much blood.”
“Then we leave him,” she said grimly.

 

She was dead. Hatari made a horrible noise – half-sob, half-gasp. It ended on a screaming wail that died on her lips but her mouth stayed open, stretched wide in a silent screech.

 

They took the burned baby and buried her in a grave that the man dug. It was too big, but they put her in it anyway.

 

As always, the song was its own when it began. It was up to Endelyn to fashion it into what she needed it to be. And for the first time, she needed it to be a song of healing. She mixed Aleks’ lullaby with her Awakening, the green grass that grew beneath her in the arid desert and she sang love and pain and grief for all the things that had been lost. Endelyn lost herself in the song, closing her eyes and watching it come to life in the darkness of her mind. She saw Makovu whole, she saw him strong, she saw him standing alone to ward off the darkness that approached, she saw his rare smile, the intense heat of his eyes, and, for the first time, allowed herself to relive their kiss. She opened her eyes and saw him watching her as she sang. Tears leaked out of his eyes. Endelyn faltered and then stopped altogether. She wiped away thee tears that were coursing down her own cheeks.
“It worked,” she whispered.
Endelyn stood and looked around. Everyone had gathered in a circle about them. Hatari was the only one who wasn’t staring at Endelyn. She was fingering her burned arm. Except it wasn’t burned anymore. The skin was perfect, unmarred and smooth.

 

“I can’t just let you die!”
“You promised,” he reminded her.
“There is a time to break promises!”
“Have you no honor?” he shouted.
The tears spilled over. “Apparently not.”
Makovu shook his head. “I won’t let you.”
“You can’t stop me,” she said flatly.

 

Haraka only shrugged. “It was not given to us to know how it would all turn out.”
“Don’t you wish it had?” she persisted.
“No,” he responded flatly.
“Why not?”
“Because I might see something I couldn’t do anything to stop.”
Mkali looked at him strangely. “What do you know, Haraka?”
“Enough.”
“There’s something you’re not telling me.”
“There are many things I’m not telling you. Because you do not need to know.”
Mkali sighed. “Fine. Have it your way. I still wish I knew how it was all going to end.”
“No, you don’t, Mkali. No, you don’t.”

 

“You couldn’t save the life of one little girl, so you did penance by saving another. But you destroyed Endelyn at the same time. It would have been better if she died.”
Anger rose up and clouded my vision. “I save her life!”
“Did you, Landric? Did you really?”

 

“Yes, I am Makovu.” His words hung in the air with a sort of finality. “Maybe I’ll never belong. Maybe some people never do.”

 

“You are a strange woman,” Endelyn said at last.
The woman did not laugh this time, but smiled, sadly. “Yes, I am a strange woman. A strange woman in a strange world.”

Okay, tell me all the things! Do you feel like you are getting more of a feel for this story? Do you actually enjoy the nefarious Snippets Posts or are you just tolerating them? Does reading other people’s snippets ever make you depressed – because it totally depresses me! I honestly don’t even know why I post snippets…

Unedited: Romance Edition

Because obviously you are so sick of me dumping my entire novel down your throat that you will most likely die of the frustration shortly.

Do I care? No, I do not.

You will continue to read my snippets. You will continue to say kind things like, “You are the next Tolkien!” You will continue to pledge your undying devotion to be my slave forever and read every word I ever write. Or I will… Well, I’ll just kill you with more snippets, that’s what I’ll do!

Sound like a plan?

Alright, let’s do it!

 

Vipande had been the only person she ever relaxed with. Because Vipande was Vipande. Her best friend. The boy she grew up with. The boy who was always pulling her hair. The boy who gave her her first black eye, her first fat lip. The boy who’d dared her to climb the tallest tree at home. The who’d nearly drowned her in the pond, holding her head under while she struggled but refused to admit defeat.

 

For a moment Mkali stood locked in a lethal embrace with her enemy. The woman’s face was mere inches from her own and for a moment Mkali stared into her eyes. What she saw there made her heart quail. Crazed pupils took up her entire eye; barely any white showed. And the pupils were black. Not just dark, like Mkali’s own or Itale’s or Kupwa’s. But black. Consumed with her own darkness, this woman had gone insane. And in that moment, Mkali realized the truth. This was what she would become.

 

“You were taught to kill on sight – kill first, ask questions later. And that as easy for you. Because you didn’t have to look into the eyes of the soul you killed and see yourself looking back. You killed from a distance. And so it never touched you.”
“Yes,” Mkali whispered. “Yes, that’s what I did.”
Itale placed his hand in the side of her face gently, contrasting to the coldness of his words. “Out here we kill without remorse. We cannot grieve every life we take. They are too many. And we are all approaching madness.”

 

“You’re ridiculous.”
Aleks only wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Lyn tilted her head back to look at the stars. They seemed so far away…
“I do believe the lady is ignoring me,” Aleks told no one in particular.
“Did you just use a respectful term for a woman?”
“Slip of the tongue, my dear.”
“I’m so relieved.”

 

“Forever?”
A ghost of a smile crossed Aleks’ handsome face. “Forever.”

 

Endelyn felt trapped in this timeless state of fiery pain and howling fury. She struggled wildly to free herself, but something held her fast.

 

“So what are we going to do?”
Aleks stood and dusted himself off as well as he could. The end result was that he was as sand-colored as before. “Get to water as soon as we can. I have an idea of where we are – and where the closest oasis is.”
“And if it’s too far?”
“If it’s too far, we die,” he said cheerfully.

 

“You mean if we don’t die first?”
“Exactly. If we don’t die first.” And then Aleks offered her that brilliant reckless smile that meant that he didn’t care what happened.

 

“Landric told me that you were a people in love with the desert – with the hot sun and the white sand and midnight skies full of stars.”
Aleks gave her a look she did not understand. “We are. We do.”

 

Endelyn examined him in the pale moonlight. He looked so boyish – always did, but especially now. Waves of still-damp hair fell almost to his broad shoulders. His eyebrows were dark, she noticed. Like the roots of his hair. Both stood out in sharp contrast to his flawless fair skin. Endelyn’s heart began to pound, her breaths to come in short gasps. She loved him. How had it happened? So swiftly, so silently? And against all the weight of her better judgement.

Come flail with me!

It is becoming increasingly difficult to come up with followup questions for these posts… Um. Tell me about your characters! What are they like? What color is their hair? Do you have any ideas for questions I can ask after posting snippets? Tell me everything!

I also need questions for my well-mannered villain Landric and his childhood friend Brand, so don’t forget to include those in your comment!

 

Unedited: Beginnings Edition

Alright, folks!

Back by popular demand – oh, hush – are…

The Snippets!

I wish I could make them all pretty for you, but let’s face it, I am far too lazy to find pictures and edit my words onto their surfaces. So you will just have to be content with the words.

 

She never spoke to me. Not once. I knew that she could speak, but she simply refused, retreating inside herself instead. Her self-imposed silence lasted twelve years. Perhaps it would’ve been more merciful to let her die.

 

“You come, too,” he said breathlessly. She tried to pull her hand away, but he wouldn’t let her. He had never been convinced that she understood him when he spoke, but he was sure now. She knew. She took a step back, their joined hands dangling limply between them. With a sudden tug, Aleks pulled her into his arms.

 

Endelyn could feel each blade of grass that pressed against the bare skin of her legs. She could feel the breath of wind that caressed her face and blew her hair up off her neck and moved silently through the grass. Shed could feel every fiber of the rough material of her dress as if chafed against her skin. She could feel it all. So many sensations. It was agony. It was ecstasy. She was alive for the first time. And then, when she opened her eyes, it was gone.

 

Those were not her eyes. So huge and dark, nearly black. Once they were blue, like the color of the sky on a sunny day. Mkali tore her eyes away, unable to sit there staring into the despairing eyes of the stranger she saw looking out at her.

 

Endelyn broke her stubborn silence only to curse him soundly in Nomad, telling him just what she thought of him in a string of colorful expletives. The corners of his mouth tipped up in an amused smile. He replied in easy, fluid Nomad.
“Thank you.”

 

In the darkness, far away, I can see a dim light. I move toward it, and it becomes brighter, its light stronger. I hear a steady hum coming from it. As it becomes clearer, I see that out is not a fixed orb of light as I had thought, but a thin, glowing thread that stretches on and on until it is faint in the distance and finally melts into the blackness.

 

A dry wind catches sparks rising from the campfire, making them dance erratically until they blink out. Dead. Dead, like everyone and everything around me. I get the sense that these people are fugitives, running for their lives. And now I’m running with them.

 

As if an afterthought, Makovu reaches for Moto’s hand. She just stares at it. Makovu goes ahead and grabs it anyway.

 

“I knew, even in the beginning, that I would have to pay a price… And it turned out that it cost me everything. The things that mattered the most. My soul. I made a deal with the devil.” She shrugs. ” I knew that. I knew that the price would be high. I knew that ultimately, it would destroy me. Funny, isn’t it, that my love for him drove me to do this, and now that it’s all over that’s what I had to give up? I knew right from the start that to do this… It meant goodbye.”

 

He was beautiful, Mkali realized. They all were, in a strange, twisted way that hurt her. They were the distorted reflections of Kwanza whom she had known.

 

Tell me your thoughts! Did you have a favorite? Or were they all just too beautiful for words (I hope they weren’t because I love comments so much!)? Do you have a favorite character? If I were to interview one of them, which one would you like it to be?

 

Unedited: Snippets

Hello!

Some of you have expressed an interest in knowing more about my novel. And so I thought, instead of ranting on and on about it – which I would most certainly do once I got going – I’ll show you.

So here you are!

Exactly ten snippets, completely unedited.

This is the part where I say how nervous I am to have humans looking at words that I wrote. Except I’m not.

Call me cocky, but I handpicked these bits and pieces because they are the best I have to offer. They are what inspires me to keep writing this story when I’m ready to give up. They are little gems. I’m proud of them.

So. I present to you…

The Snippets.

 

“Can you stop hitting me on the head?”
“Can you stop trying to kill me every time my back is turned?”
“I’m your hostage.”
“Duly noted. But in my defense, it is only the instinct for self-preservation that makes me keep hitting your head.”
“That doesn’t make it hurt less.”

 

“Why do you wanna kill me so bad anyway?”
“You kidnapped me.”
“Whatever.”

 

“I’m gonna get you out of here, Endelyn. I swear it.”
She opened her eyes a tiny crack and offered him a weak smile. “I know you will.” Her eyes drifted closed again.
Makovu looked down at the precious treasure he held in his arms and swore to himself that she would not die. He began to run. She did not wake. He ran faster. They had to get out today. She was slipping away from him. He searched for her in his mind, a difficult task with his eyes open. As he had felt instinctively, her light was dimming.

 

“The world has changed. There is no sun.”
“What do you mean, no sun?”
“The sun has died. We live in the dark.”

 

“Common was all they spoke there. So… fourteen years went by and… I had never spoken a word. It sounded so ugly to me. So rough and harsh. I loathed it. Loathed everyone who spoke it. There were many, though, like me. Many old who had ceased speaking, many children who never had. But they did nor refuse to speak it because of its ugliness. They… had lost the will – to live, to move, to speak.”

 

“You were happy there?”
She hesitated. “For a while, I was happy there.”

 

And as the hours dragged on, Lyn felt death hovering nearby. She longed to hand herself over into its embrace. But he began to speak. And his rich, beautiful voice, cracked and dry from dehydration, pulled her away from the brink.

 

Lyn hated herself for her cowardice. She knew what had happened to those men. Honor demanded that she tell him the truth. Apparently she lacked honor enough, because her lips remained firmly sealed.

 

To her, it was alive with memories, flitting before her eyes like phantoms. Ghosts from her past. All the endless dreary days she spent in The Empire, growing more and more lethargic as days and months and years slipped by. The lifeless eyes if the living – small children hiding behind mothers’ skirts, and the sightless eyes of the dead that were left lying in the street where they slowly rotted and turned to the dust that she walked on. The empty tomb that was the Fortress – the hollow halls and dim corridors, the creaking, dusty wood floors. The forbidden wing… Landric. Sweet, enigmatic Landric, watching anxiously as Lyn deteriorated.

 

And I watched as that beautiful child with those huge eyes that were so full of life, die a slow and painful death and not even realize it.

Alright, tell me! What did you think? Do you want more snippets (you are getting more whether you like it or not! This is my blog and I do what I want!)?