Once upon a time, Kate had friends.
Shocking, I know, but true.
I was not always the introverted loner I am today. I was… popular, in a manner of speaking. I was in The Clique.
Amy, Micayla, Gracie, and I did everything together. We were an inseparable foursome. And while we were somewhat exclusive… and laughed at our share of less-cool kids… we were nice girls. We didn’t mean to hurt anyone with our teasing remarks and inside jokes and reluctance to expand to include newcomers.
Amy was my best friend.
I loved all four of them dearly, but Amy was different. Our personalities meshed. She never annoyed me the way Micayla could or boredd me the way quiet Gracie sometimes did.
She was everything I was not… talkative and funny and gorgeous and winningly “blonde.” And yet for some peculiar reason she enjoyed being with me. She seemed to look up to me and admire my biting sarcasm and cool worldliness. I led and she followed, eager to please. I hadn’t a clue why, but I was proud to think that Amy considered me her best friend too.
But as we grew older… the gaps between us widened. It was obvious that our lives were heading in drastically different directions. Gracie was obsessed with sports in an attempt to please her mother, Micayla was interested in music and the male population, and Amy… I didn’t know what Amy wanted, I didn’t know where she was going. And that was strange, because I felt quite sure that I used to know.
How had we lost track of one another in this way?
The friendship faded and even though we see each other all the time, we never even greet each other anymore.
I suppose at first I was angry at them… for letting me disappear without asking why, without begging me not to. I’m not angry anymore. It had to happen, sooner or later.
I simply chose to walk out their lives a bit sooner.
I’m glad that we were friends. I have so many beautiful memories… dancing in the pouring rain and shouting at the sky, making cookies together and stuffing handfuls of chocolate chips in our mouths, coming up with ridiculous motions to popular songs, laughing so hard that Gracie spit a mouthful of water into her bowl of ice cream, playing Marco Polo in Amy’s pool, trying to scare Micayla when we had a sleepover at her house…
I cherish these memories. Sure, I thought we would be friends forever and that dream will not come true. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be glad for the childhood I spent with them.
And I know this post is getting weirdly sentimental. I do that sometimes. But I do, in fact, have a destination in mind.
When I started blogging, I never dreamed that I would make friends. It simply was not apart of my plan.
But it happened.
I think I realized this for the first time during Camp NaNo this April when I was talking with my cabinmates…
Kate Marie: But how do you know which types contrast well with each other??? Now I’m having a crisis because I don’t know if my romantic partners are the right types for each other!!!!! WILL THEY HAVE TO BREAK UP NOW?????? *violent sobbing*
Kenzie: YES! BREAK THEM UP! BREAK THEM ALL UP!
Kate Marie: BREAK WHO UP??? Oh!! My romantic couples! Because you don’t like romance! *pries couples apart with crowbar*
Kenzie: Bahahahahaha!!!! Yessss! Use the crowbar!
Jethan: NOOOOOOOOO!!! DON’T BREAK THEM UP!!!!
Kate Marie: *Kate is being torn in two*
Anna: Mean, Kenzie! NO, Don’t break them up!!! Please!!!!!
Kate Marie: *make that three*
Kenzie: BREAK UP ALL THE ROMANCE!!!! DIE!!! DIE!!!! KILL THEM ALL!!!!
Me: WOW THIS IS GETTING VIOLENT. Now I have to KILL them????
Kenzie: YES. KILL THEM. KILLLLLLL THEM!
Jethan: NOOOOOOOO!!! YOU WILL NOT DESTROY TRUE LOVE!!!
Kenzie: I WILL DESTROY IT IF I WANT TO MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *breaks cupid’s flimsy arrows*
Kate Marie: *Kate gasps in horror*
Anna: Kenzie, Shush!!!! Do not break anyone up, Kate!!!!!! I forbid it!!!
Kate Marie: *smashes characters back together in the name of True Love*
Jethan: *Cheers it on*
…I have friends again.