Unedited: Burning Edition

I feel like you guys are ultimately going to read my entire book just through these snippets posts… What can I say, there are lots of tiny bits and  pieces of my story that I love!

You’re probably getting tired of it, but to be honest with you, I’m having the time of my life. I’m proud of this story and my precious characters. Introducing you to my characters and having you, my writerly pals, get to know and love them the way I do… well, that’s why writers write, isn’t it? To share what they love with other people?

But I’m rambling nonsensically.

Let’s get to it, shall we?

The first meteor caught the pack by off-guard, it was traveling so fast. There was searing heat and an explosion. Endelyn pivoted, eyes wide, as she tried to take in what had just happened. Wimbo Nzuri knelt on the sand, holding the charred remains of her father in her lap and sobbing brokenly.


“Move out!” Hatari yelled. “We can’t stay here!”
One of the women tending Mako spoke up. “He really shouldn’t be moved, Hatari. He’s lost too much blood.”
“Then we leave him,” she said grimly.


She was dead. Hatari made a horrible noise – half-sob, half-gasp. It ended on a screaming wail that died on her lips but her mouth stayed open, stretched wide in a silent screech.


They took the burned baby and buried her in a grave that the man dug. It was too big, but they put her in it anyway.


As always, the song was its own when it began. It was up to Endelyn to fashion it into what she needed it to be. And for the first time, she needed it to be a song of healing. She mixed Aleks’ lullaby with her Awakening, the green grass that grew beneath her in the arid desert and she sang love and pain and grief for all the things that had been lost. Endelyn lost herself in the song, closing her eyes and watching it come to life in the darkness of her mind. She saw Makovu whole, she saw him strong, she saw him standing alone to ward off the darkness that approached, she saw his rare smile, the intense heat of his eyes, and, for the first time, allowed herself to relive their kiss. She opened her eyes and saw him watching her as she sang. Tears leaked out of his eyes. Endelyn faltered and then stopped altogether. She wiped away thee tears that were coursing down her own cheeks.
“It worked,” she whispered.
Endelyn stood and looked around. Everyone had gathered in a circle about them. Hatari was the only one who wasn’t staring at Endelyn. She was fingering her burned arm. Except it wasn’t burned anymore. The skin was perfect, unmarred and smooth.


“I can’t just let you die!”
“You promised,” he reminded her.
“There is a time to break promises!”
“Have you no honor?” he shouted.
The tears spilled over. “Apparently not.”
Makovu shook his head. “I won’t let you.”
“You can’t stop me,” she said flatly.


Haraka only shrugged. “It was not given to us to know how it would all turn out.”
“Don’t you wish it had?” she persisted.
“No,” he responded flatly.
“Why not?”
“Because I might see something I couldn’t do anything to stop.”
Mkali looked at him strangely. “What do you know, Haraka?”
“There’s something you’re not telling me.”
“There are many things I’m not telling you. Because you do not need to know.”
Mkali sighed. “Fine. Have it your way. I still wish I knew how it was all going to end.”
“No, you don’t, Mkali. No, you don’t.”


“You couldn’t save the life of one little girl, so you did penance by saving another. But you destroyed Endelyn at the same time. It would have been better if she died.”
Anger rose up and clouded my vision. “I save her life!”
“Did you, Landric? Did you really?”


“Yes, I am Makovu.” His words hung in the air with a sort of finality. “Maybe I’ll never belong. Maybe some people never do.”


“You are a strange woman,” Endelyn said at last.
The woman did not laugh this time, but smiled, sadly. “Yes, I am a strange woman. A strange woman in a strange world.”

Okay, tell me all the things! Do you feel like you are getting more of a feel for this story? Do you actually enjoy the nefarious Snippets Posts or are you just tolerating them? Does reading other people’s snippets ever make you depressed – because it totally depresses me! I honestly don’t even know why I post snippets…


29 thoughts on “Unedited: Burning Edition

  1. Christine says:

    Sick of your snippets? SICK OF YOUR SNIPPETS???
    NEVERRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!! I RELISH THESE. I’d be perfectly okay if we ended up reading your whole book via snippets! Because…just…YOUR WRITING. THIS STORY. SDKJFLKSJDLKJFSDF.

    This seemed to be the Pain Edition of Snippets this go round. (Okay, who am I kidding, they’re always painful). Just… “It was too big, but they put her in it anyway.” <— *cries for an eternity* But these are also so BEAUTIFULLLL. The one about the song. *clutches chest* Beauty put into words. Then the one right after that, where they're arguing about promises. Golden.



  2. Rubix Cube says:

    Nope. Still not tired.

    I really enjoy this story so far. ^-^ *dries tears* It’s very touching. I’m intrigued by these characters, I look forward to seeing their shenanigans in the near future.


  3. smudgedthoughts says:

    I shall never have a moment EVER when I will not gleefully read a writer’s friend’s work. It just will never happen.

    And these snippets are AMAZING!!!! AGH!!! Are there…fantastical powers in this story????? *tangible screech*


  4. Miss March says:

    OHHHHH! THAT PART WHEN ENDELYN SINGS HER SONG!!! Yes, yes, yes!! Hurray!! She did it. That was beautifully written, my dear. And the ending three sentences, “She was fingering her burned arm. Except it wasn’t burned anymore. The skin was perfect, unmarred and smooth.” YES! It worked. Time for happy! 😀 😀

    I like the conversation between Makovu and (who is it? Endelyn?). “Have you no honor?” he shouted. The tears spilled over. “Apparently not.” That is so good!! But please, tell me Makovu is going to be all right. He doesn’t die, does he? DOES HE????


  5. Kate Marie says:

    Awwwwww! So glad you found some Happy here to be happy about!!! Rare Happy Spotting!!! Everyone come look quick!! 😉

    Makovu IS healed!!! But he still might die later??? Oops!


  6. Kate Marie says:

    Aw! Christine, do you come in like a nice, handy, pocket-sized version I can carry about with me all the time?

    I should start doing that! Snippets: Pain Edition, Snippets: Food Edition, Snippets: Death Edition… MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

    Thank you so much, dear!


  7. Miss March says:

    WHAAAT? Why? What’s the point of healing him if you’re just going to kill him off later? *glowers at you* This isn’t nice. At all. *goes off in huff*


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