Unedited: Romance Edition

Because obviously you are so sick of me dumping my entire novel down your throat that you will most likely die of the frustration shortly.

Do I care? No, I do not.

You will continue to read my snippets. You will continue to say kind things like, “You are the next Tolkien!” You will continue to pledge your undying devotion to be my slave forever and read every word I ever write. Or I will… Well, I’ll just kill you with more snippets, that’s what I’ll do!

Sound like a plan?

Alright, let’s do it!

 

Vipande had been the only person she ever relaxed with. Because Vipande was Vipande. Her best friend. The boy she grew up with. The boy who was always pulling her hair. The boy who gave her her first black eye, her first fat lip. The boy who’d dared her to climb the tallest tree at home. The who’d nearly drowned her in the pond, holding her head under while she struggled but refused to admit defeat.

 

For a moment Mkali stood locked in a lethal embrace with her enemy. The woman’s face was mere inches from her own and for a moment Mkali stared into her eyes. What she saw there made her heart quail. Crazed pupils took up her entire eye; barely any white showed. And the pupils were black. Not just dark, like Mkali’s own or Itale’s or Kupwa’s. But black. Consumed with her own darkness, this woman had gone insane. And in that moment, Mkali realized the truth. This was what she would become.

 

“You were taught to kill on sight – kill first, ask questions later. And that as easy for you. Because you didn’t have to look into the eyes of the soul you killed and see yourself looking back. You killed from a distance. And so it never touched you.”
“Yes,” Mkali whispered. “Yes, that’s what I did.”
Itale placed his hand in the side of her face gently, contrasting to the coldness of his words. “Out here we kill without remorse. We cannot grieve every life we take. They are too many. And we are all approaching madness.”

 

“You’re ridiculous.”
Aleks only wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Lyn tilted her head back to look at the stars. They seemed so far away…
“I do believe the lady is ignoring me,” Aleks told no one in particular.
“Did you just use a respectful term for a woman?”
“Slip of the tongue, my dear.”
“I’m so relieved.”

 

“Forever?”
A ghost of a smile crossed Aleks’ handsome face. “Forever.”

 

Endelyn felt trapped in this timeless state of fiery pain and howling fury. She struggled wildly to free herself, but something held her fast.

 

“So what are we going to do?”
Aleks stood and dusted himself off as well as he could. The end result was that he was as sand-colored as before. “Get to water as soon as we can. I have an idea of where we are – and where the closest oasis is.”
“And if it’s too far?”
“If it’s too far, we die,” he said cheerfully.

 

“You mean if we don’t die first?”
“Exactly. If we don’t die first.” And then Aleks offered her that brilliant reckless smile that meant that he didn’t care what happened.

 

“Landric told me that you were a people in love with the desert – with the hot sun and the white sand and midnight skies full of stars.”
Aleks gave her a look she did not understand. “We are. We do.”

 

Endelyn examined him in the pale moonlight. He looked so boyish – always did, but especially now. Waves of still-damp hair fell almost to his broad shoulders. His eyebrows were dark, she noticed. Like the roots of his hair. Both stood out in sharp contrast to his flawless fair skin. Endelyn’s heart began to pound, her breaths to come in short gasps. She loved him. How had it happened? So swiftly, so silently? And against all the weight of her better judgement.

Come flail with me!

It is becoming increasingly difficult to come up with followup questions for these posts… Um. Tell me about your characters! What are they like? What color is their hair? Do you have any ideas for questions I can ask after posting snippets? Tell me everything!

I also need questions for my well-mannered villain Landric and his childhood friend Brand, so don’t forget to include those in your comment!

 

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28 thoughts on “Unedited: Romance Edition”

  1. Ooh, I loved this peek at your writing and your style!! VERY NICE. And I particularly love your names. 😍

    Like

  2. Bahahahahahahaha!!!!

    Oh yeah, I totally get that! everlost has this weird flashback type thing going on, but it’s working for the plot, so it’s really fun to write it. I like writing backstory away from the main story, though, because it helps me get to know my characters.

    Like

  3. YOU SHALL BE MY QUEEN AND I SHALL NAME YOU SQUISHY.

    Definitely.

    Thank you! Some of them will probably be referenced, but one can’t have too much back story bogging down the real story, if ya know what I mean. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. AH YES! I AM THE ULTIMATE FLAILER. ALL SHALL BOW BEFORE MY SUPERIOR FLAILING ABILITIES!

    Oh yes, everyone needs #hairdiversity at some point or another!!!

    Ohhhhhh!!!! BACKstory!!! Got it!!!! *nods knowingly* They are, however, still amazing!

    Like

  5. OKAY SERIOUSLY I HAVE GOT TO STOP TRYING TO ONE-UP YOU IN THE FLAILING DEPARTMENT CLEARLY YOU ARE THE SUPERIOR FLAILER.

    It is… but it would seem I need #hairdiversity as well. πŸ˜‰

    Ah, thank you! *devours both*

    Errr, yes??? Because most of these snippets are back story… if you know what I mean?

    Eeek, thank you! You are so sweet!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You have a beautiful style of writing. Seriously, Kate. And I have to echo Happy Writer and say that those last four sentences were REALLY good!! Just, yeah. Lovely, lovely, lovely. πŸ™‚

    Like

  7. Agh!!! *flails for FOURTEEN years* *hyperventilates from so much flailing*

    Ah, but dark hair is gorgeous, as well! (And I just realized that I have yet another character who is entering my story with a gold-ish blonde head of hair, so I really need to add in some dark haired people… [#hairdiversity]

    A cake you say??? Of course, my lady. However, it is with a very heavy heart that I must oblige in giving you a bowl of cake batter, as I was not able to complete the task requested in .2 seconds. As an apology, I offer thee a bowl of cookie dough, as well. *hands bowls over dramatically*

    Aww!!! You are way too kind! And noooo!!!! I LOVED these snippets!!! You are going to rip them away from me so soon?????? Here is a frowny face. Because I am frowning.

    😦

    Ooh!!! The Songless sounds so epic. Please excuse me while I fangirl over that epic name for thirteen minutes… And Oh my word!!! That is AWESOME!!!

    Like

  8. GORGEOUS writing! I especially loved “She loved him. How had it happened? So swiftly, so silently? And against all the weight of her better judgement.” and “Consumed with her own darkness, this woman had gone insane. And in that moment, Mkali realized the truth. This was what she would become.” UGH, SO GOOD! I want to read this story!!

    Like

  9. UPON CLOSER INVESTIGATION… these WERE rather shippy. *sweeps snippets under carpet nonchalantly*

    *flails for THIRTEEN YEARS* *feels superior*

    How interesting! Nearly all of mine are dark-haired! Which is odd because I think blind hair is FREAKIN GORGEOUS…

    Thank you so much! It means so much to me that you would say that WITHOUT EVEN BEING PROMPTED OR ANYTHING!!!

    Bake me a cake, my loyal slave!!! And if you don’t have time to, you know, ACTUALLY BAKE it, I will accept a bowl of raw batter as substitute.

    Dude. Do not feel like a failure. Your book is awesome. The world needs it. And most of these snippets are gonna be cut anyway. πŸ˜‰

    This is my “pet project” The Songless. And thank you, I named them all myself! #proudmama

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh my word, Christine. Your comments. Make me want to write books and slay dragons and rule the world and be a better mother even though I don’t have kids. Okay? Okay.

    Aleks is a brat, to be honest. But he came across as very cute for these particular snippets, naughty boy. πŸ™‚

    Right??? These were very shippy. I’m disturbed. Are you disturbed?

    Like

  11. I NEED TO READ YOUR STORY!!! I JUST NEED TO I NEED TO PLEAAAAAASE!!! I volunteer as a beta reader XD XD XD It sounds amaaaazing and all the names are amazing and IM ALREADY SHIPPING CHARACTERS I DONT EVEN KNOW!!
    and btw, you’re the next Tolkien… there. Happy?

    Like

  12. If your snippets kill me, it’s only because I was SLAIN BY THE GORGEOUS WORDS AND EPICNESS.

    HOW U WRITE SO GOOD??????? There’s so much EMOTION and EPICNESS in every single one of these. GAH.

    Dat second snippet. “This was what she would become.” o.o Whoa. See? EPICNESS. I know I keep using that word but but but…that’s the only way to describe all this genius!

    Who is this Aleks? Because I may already love him.
    β€œDid you just use a respectful term for a woman?”
    β€œSlip of the tongue, my dear.”
    β€œI’m so relieved.”
    HILARIOUS.

    AND THE LAST ONE. D’AWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! SHIPPYNESS. <3333

    I JUST LOVE ALL THESE SO MUCH I LITERALLY CAN'T FORM COHERENT WORDS RIGHT NOW.

    Like

  13. Do I smell…a SHIP?????

    SHIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!

    SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!

    *flails for twelve years*

    My characters’ hair is, respectively, in order of appearance: red, blond, dirty blond, white-blonde.

    And I just realized that I have a lot of blond characters???

    And, by the way, YOU ARE GOING TO BE THE NEXT TOLKIEN! And even better than him, because I was not bored once while reading this. You are an amazing writer, therefore, I shall be your slave or .2 seconds. Please declare what you would like in that allotted amount of time before I must go and write my own book because I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE COMPARED TO YOUR GENIUS!

    Seriously, though! These were epic! And a weird question, what is this book called??? I LOVE your character names, too, by the way!!!

    Like

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