NaNo has been an amazing journey so far.
Obviously, I have written a great many scenes – some of them just as much of a surprise to me as to my poor, abused characters.
All this time, I thought I was a plotter.
I’m a pantser. Apparently. Nobody bothered to tell me…
Which has led to the writing of a few scenes I didn’t even see coming. I am beginning to have a sneaking suspicion that my characters have come to life and have hijacked my story.
You ain’t seen nothing yet.
Yes, I have written torture.
Whose idea was that anyway? Certainly not mine. Because I am not the character-torturing type.
Oh, wait. Yes, I am.
Excuse me while I go puke.
To put it mildly, romance is not my thing.
Somehow a whopping total of three kisses have subtly worked their way into my story about death and darkness and the end of the world.
I feel like a hypocrite.
So much sickness.
Physical sickness, mental sickness, emotional sickness, other random kinds of sickness…
You name a sickness, and I guarantee with something like 10% certainty that I’ve written it, pal.
Ebola? Even Ebola.
4. People going crazy
I touched on this already…
Mental illness. Good times.
I’m not kidding. Mental illness is one of the most fun things I have ever had the opportunity to write. That quite possibly makes me a horrible human. But it’s true, nonetheless.
I didn’t even know that there were animals in this book!
You would think my characters would have the courtesy of giving me some notice, right? But, no.
They like to spring things on me when I’m in the middle of trying to pound out my quota for NaNo.
Thanks, guys. I love you, too.
My villain randomly decided that he has entire pack of greyhounds. Who knew?
Another character is apparently raising a baby dragon. Again, who knew?
Not me. Definitely not me.
The entire book is supposed to be about war, technically.
But because I am a clever bean, I have managed to write a shocking little amount of war-related scenes.
For which you, my friend, should be grateful. Because I cannot write war. Which is probably a good thing?
Maybe I am not such an aweful human, after all…
7. Witty banter
I have heard some rumors about this thing called “filler.”
Sounds scary, doesn’t it? That’s what I thought.
Witty banter is my filler. Don’t tell anyone.
When I run out of things to write, when I still haven’t met my quota for the day and my fingers feel like are considering not only falling off but also moving to Australia, when I am depserate – I write witty banter.
Pages and pages of useless, witty banter.
I hate you, Witty Banter. You are evil.
Like mental illness, visions are a kind of weird, intangible thing to write.
But fun. Definitely fun.
Nightmares are… a little scary, honestly.
Nightmare scenes have been intense. I think that’s a good thing?
Seizures are also intense.
In case you were wondering.
Not that I’ve ever actually had a seizure?
I am experiencing the weirdest things vicariously…
My two main characters, mostly.
And it’s not like that for-fun wrestling that little boys do – or little girls, in my case – it’s like “I-hate-you-and-want-to-crush-your-skull-on-this-stone-floor” kind of wrestling.
Told you they didn’t like each other…
Arguments are fun. Arguments are the best. Arguments are my favorite.
I could write a song about how much I love arguments.
Because they’re so easy. I mean, I do so much arguing in real life, I have never had that moment where I wonder, “What would a real human say here?”
Something of a rarity for my introverted soul.
13. Useless conversations
Like I said before, filler.
It’s junk. It’s awful. It’s got to go.
Excuse me while I go rip those scenes to shreds so that no one ever finds them. Ever.
14. Useless scenes
15. Scenes I loved
I know that first drafts are supposed to be the worst thing ever, and so ugly that unsuspecting strangers sometimes go blind when they see them, and that I, the author, am supposed to despise every word of it with the fire of three million angry suns.
I’m sorry. I don’t.
Some scenes? Yes. Emphatically.
Other ones? That I may or may not have slowed down enough to put some work into? Don’t tell, but I am actually kind of proud of those.
I like them. Okay, fine, I love them. They are beautiful. I would like too frame them on my wall and drag J. R. R. Tolkien’s ghost over to and say, “Lookit! I wrote that!”
16. Scenes I hated
With the fire of three million angry suns.
I did kill a few people.
And by a few I mean half my cast and entire races of unsuspecting strangers I have never met. And copious amounts of animals.
I am a murderer.
Because things weren’t interesting enough. And I kind of like fire. Just a little.
19. Fireballs falling from the sky
Um, yeah. Those, too.
I am quite possibly getting a bit carried away?
I don’t know, though…
I mean, it’s perfectly normal for teenage girls to write mass destruction of human life, right?
Yeah, I didn’t think so.
This was fun.
Seriously. Is your life a little boring? Go write an earthquake.
21. A cavein
Two of my characters spend a good deal of time in a series of tunnels underneath a ruined city.
But I was getting bored of them just walking with the occasional argument-turned-wrestling-to-the-death-match, so I decided to liven things up a bit.
So far I’ve broken various limbs, dislocated other various limbs, caused burns, wounds, aches, pains, and other fun things I highly recommend never doing to yourself but doing constantly to your poor fictional children.
23. An amputation
Ew. This was gross. Don’t do this.
Especially if you don’t like blood. Like me.
Or surgery. Like me.
Just don’t do it, okay?
Because somehow I now have two characters with entire limbs missing and I’m disgusted with myself. And even more so with my characters for grossing me out.
Um. This was completely unplanned.
What do ghosts have to do with anything, anyway? Who knows.
Kids are hard to write. Ask anyone.
Oh. Just me? Fine, then. Be that way.
I find children hard to write. They distract from the action and win the hearts of readers more than my beautiful main characters whom I have poured my heart and soul into. Thanks a lot, kid.
Just as soon as I decided to cut the baby, a little kid waltzes into my story and steals the show.
I hate kids.
Also a recent addition.
With the exception of the baby one I mentioned earlier. I knew about him. Sort of.
But now there is a whole race of dragons? They just kind of appeared out of nowhere.
And, unlike the small, cute one, they are kind of ruthless and fly around killing humans and then eating them.
I am a despicable human being.
What have you written so far? Anything completely unplanned? Anything fun? Anything gross? Anything you loved? Anything you hated? Have you killed anyone yet? Are you a despicable human being? Please say you are even if it’s not true because if you don’t I will feel sad and lonely and you wouldn’t want that…