I know that a lot of you love the movie, The Princess Bride.
I am know that this post will probably make me a great many mortal enemies.
I know that a lot of you will hate me, and more than likely hunt me down and murder me in my sleep.
I am prepared for these possibilities.
But I can’t help it.
I hate The Princess Bride. Hate it. Passionately.
I’ve been watching it ever since I was a little girl. Cursed with an amazing memory for dialogue, I even blurted out a rather unfortunate quote of that movie verbatim, at the dinner table. I had no idea what I was saying, but it left the rest of my family in embarrassed silence.
I was never a big fan, to be honest.
I may have had a bit of a crush on Westley.
I may still have a crush on Westley…
But I’m getting off topic.
Why do I hate it, you ask?
I will tell you. In detail.
In the beginning of the movie, Buttercup treats Westley like he isn’t good enough for her. She bosses him around and treats him like dirt. She literally calls him “Farm Boy.”
But then she has a sudden change of heart, and decides that Westley belongs to her. He has no choice in the matter. She simply decides that they are in love and it is so.
If only it were that easy in real life…
Buttercup cannot do anything for herself.
From getting a pitcher that is directly above her own head, to thinking she can help Westley fight oversized rats and ending up toppling over because she wasn’t even strong enough to heft a tree branch, Buttercup needs help with everything.
Westley is constantly having to save her – from being kidnapped, from fire, from rats, from her husband…
Buttercup, who starts out as a bit of a country bumpkin, I might add, is terribly conceited.
She seems to think she is the only person on the planet and seems to be genuinely convinced that everyone in the world is only there to serve her.
I actually rather enjoy watching her get kidnapped, because, for once, everyone is not doing whatever is most pleasant or convenient for Buttercup.
She thinks she has the power to hurt the Prince with her stinging words. She is offended when some old crone “boo’s” at her, and scornfully views herself as a better person than the Dread Pirate Roberts – until she finds out that it was Westley all along.
This girl makes me sick.
I mean, I do not demand that all heroines be ninjas, or have powers, or are tougher or better at fighting than all the guys.
I’m okay with heroines who are strong in other ways.
Buttercup is the worst. The worst, I tell you!
What kind of a role model is she for girls?
She throws herself off a cliff – for what reason exactly? – that isn’t a cliff at all but a steep hill, which honestly makes it that much more pathetic. Like, if it was a real cliff, than at least you would attain your objective of killing yourself, but she must have known that wouldn’t die of rolling down a hill… so why did she do it?
Supposedly, to inflict some kind of immediate pain of herself, to punish herself for being so cruel to Westley, right?
Or did she really think that the fastest way to get to him was to roll?
She could’ve gotten to the bottom much quicker – and with less bruising – by simply running.
You may have noticed a common theme in the list – Buttercup.
Yes, she is the only reason I hate this movie.
I actually like Westley. Though I deeply question his sanity – because, really, who but an insane person could fall in love with Buttercup?
Inigo Montoya is great. The whole movie is hysterical. Even if I can totally tell that the rats are men crawling around on their hands and knees in cheap costumes.
So there are some good things about this movie. It’s just that the bad far outweighs the good on this one.
What do you think? Do you love The Princess Bride? Or hate it? What about Buttercup? Do you hate her? Or do know of some (remarkably well-concealed) traits that you admire in her?